


Two Weeks On Skullcrusher Mountain

by tamarind (rogue)



Category: Jonathan Coulton - Fandom, Skullcrusher Mountain (Song)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-24
Updated: 2009-12-24
Packaged: 2017-10-05 06:00:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/38503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rogue/pseuds/tamarind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The daily log of the master of Skullcrusher Mountain: a love story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Weeks On Skullcrusher Mountain

**Author's Note:**

  * For [htbthomas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/htbthomas/gifts).



> Just a quick Yuletide treat for another Jonathan Coulton fan! :) Hope you like it!

_Day One_  
Scarface found young girl wandering on the mountain. Brought her here, against my express wishes. Must interview her; see if she knows anything of value; whether or not I have to kill her.

\---  
_Day Two_  
Shouldn't kill her yet.

\---  
_Day Three_  
She's very pretty. She doesn't seem to like it here very much. She seems frightened of Scarface.

Can't say I blame her. Told her not to be afraid, bark is worse than the bite, &amp;c, but she didn't seem convinced.

She'll see in time that he's nothing to be afraid of.

After all, she's got nothing but time.

\---  
_Day Four_  
Very pretty, but not very bright at all. Finds it nearly impossible to follow directions.

Did get her to open up a bit today. She's still not very bright. Likes girly things. Ponies. Rabbits. Monkeys. Doesn't seem too keen on wolves, wildcats, &amp;c on mountain.

Really should have killed her. Would have saved a great deal of time, trouble.

\---  
_Day Five_  
She's suffering from a lamentable feminine curiosity. Today she went wandering around beyond her chamber. Encountered henchmen, was promptly escorted back.

Claims she only wanted a breath of fresh air, but she could have been trying to escape.

Could lead them back here. That would never do.

\---  
_Day Six_  
She's been twitchy since meeting my army. Won't even look at me anymore. Clearly terrified out of her wits.

Hope she didn't open the filing cabinet before she was found. That would be bad, oh, bad.

\---  
_Day Seven_  
Trying to lull her back into a sense of security. Not entirely successful. Still refuses to make eye contact, twiddles thumbs nervously. Tried to put my arm around her, make her feel more comfortable. Keeping raw steak over one eye, ice on arm.

Very displeased with whole situation.

Note to self: perhaps I should make her a present? To make it up to her? After all, she didn't ask to be here.

She likes monkeys, she like ponies.

\---  
_Day Eight_  
Gift unsuccessful. Thoroughly dissatisfied.

In addition, get the sneaking suspicion Scarface, henchmen mocking me behind my back. The eye is still rather swollen.

Perhaps should still kill her after all. The world would not be deprived of a great intellect. Probably the reason henchmen find it so funny. She likes _ponies._

Pretty though. Very pretty. And she'll warm up to me in time.

\---  
_Day Nine_  
Didn't see her today. Tomorrow she will likely be starving for human contact.

Besides, new shipment from Acme arrived. Far too busy to think about her.

\---  
_Day Ten_  
She was not starved for human contact.

\---  
_Day Eleven_  
Trying a different approach. Softer, smoother again. Taking it slow. No more ostentatious presents. A simple glass of wine, rational discussion. After all, her options are limited here.

Sooner or later, she'll come around. Eye is healing up nicely, and I am rather attractive, if I do say so myself.

If I speak in a soft voice, if I treat her kindly, surely she'll be less afraid of me.

\---  
_Day Twelve_  
At least she didn't attack this time.

\---  
_Day Thirteen_  
Doomsday squads nearly ready to activate. Tried to warn her, heavy hinting, that it would be an opportune time to accept my offers. She asked for 24 hours to think it over.

Very well. I've waited so long; what's one more day?

Beginning to worry though. If she declines?

Starting to doubt I can go through with it. Somehow seems like an empty, hollow victory without her.

She was almost civil today. She's starting to weaken. It could be a beginning.

If I don't kill her, the henchmen will never respect me again.

\---  
_Day Fourteen_  
Well, I can always find more henchmen.


End file.
